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How I Beat

How I Beat is an online community containing authentic personal stories of ordinary men and women who overcame a severe and debilitating physical or psychological conditions which substantially affected the individuals life and necessitated vast and lasting changes in order to overcome the condition and breakthrough into a rich, balanced and full life characterised by gratitude and understanding.


An honest testimony is powerful force of truth. For many it can be the vital light they need to penetrate darkness of thought and feelings of hopelessness which pervade all form of suffering.

It is the reality if our inner life, our inner journey. I really believe that you don’t really know anyone unless you know the person inside them who is struggling to relate to life, testimonies help convey this inner truth of the human condition.They provide a beacon, a welcome lighthouse for a shipwrecked soul, ravaged by the cruel and unfair oceans of life.

Testimonies will not cure another person, they will however point them in the right direction and if the right one is given at the right time for someone are capable of launching people into new trajectories.

I have worked with severely emotionally, psychologically and spiritually sick people for the past 5 years, predominantly in mental health community settings and in homeless shelters, of my life and three fundamental truth is so ingrained:

  • People who are sick isolate. They feel shame and pain very deeply.
  • People who isolate being to believe there is something inherently wrong with them. Some dark part of themselves which can never be properly understood by anyone will covertly run and ruin lives.
  • They lose hope in providence and people and forever fight themselves and others in a defeated attitude of survival and protection.

These suite of websites are first and foremost for these people.

These are the people I believe I know and understand and fundamentally I can help in some way.

And I am hoping and praying that others will come on board and document other stories and testimonies which will spread the seed of hope, growth and recovery on the dry land of the internet.

Mutual Help

No man is an island. We were made for relationship with others.

We all crave fulfilling, strong satisfying relationships with others.

But sufferers of conditions that these sites will cover often have hard time forming these positive and refreshing relationships.

Stuck in bitterness, regret, obesessing over pain which torments and plagues.

Often the people who have the capacity to heal us, to help us recovery are the ones we crucify.

But humility leads to an understanding that mutual help is the best way for hope and recovery.We need other peoples love, stories and strength to help inspire us when we lose faith in hope, in ourselves, in love.

It explains, for instance, the meteoric rise of mutual help programmes, like NA, AA and  community mental health movements, of which I am a member, see

The twentieth century was devastating, brutal, inhumane, a shocking indictment on so-called enlightened man and globalisation, a revelation that the psyche of humanity is wounded, dysfunctional, schizophrenic. However under the pain of warfare, genocide, terrorism and community movement began to form. Groups created by sufferers for sufferers. Mutual help.

It radically changed the world. Not by blasts and trumpets, and showy parades. It did it covertly, subtly, systematically, causing amazing personal stories of transformation. People who overcame sever addictions, mental health conditions, people who really CHANGED and in doing so changed their families, communities and outlook on life.

These websites are a part of that recovery movement. Sympathetic resonance, mutual help and growing communities are ones which last and stand the test of time.


The disintegration man comes with the disintegration of genuine community. Societies which fervently promote rugged individualism and self gain are also the mass producers of tidal waves of depressive disorders and anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, homelessness and loneliness.Why? Because man was not made to just get ahead whatever the costs, he was made by and for genuine community which means communion with others.

I have witness first hand hundreds and hundreds of genuine recovery stories, from some people on the brink of suicide and bleakness. Do you know what the one underlying theme in all of their recoveries? Not getting more money, getting a job, getting more friends, getting more employable or likable. No, no they all sung the same hymn: the ability to show and display compassionate love. All of them. Without a doubt. This new found ability which was created and refined by their suffering is now leading them to a life of love and genuine connections with others. And guess what, all of the other stuff normally came along as well. As a by-product, an incidental gain.

We have so many technological determinist who believe the internet is capable of unleashing true and genuine democracy and restoring a right sense of order and freedom of expression. These suite of websites is put up with that utopian hope in mind.

This site declares – with utter conviction – the fact that you are not alone! Th need and help perpetuate a chain reaction of wisdom hinged on love and concern for others. There is so much potential to do this via the internet. This website wants to reach out to people in pain and inspire others to create similar types of communities and messages.

If the content in any of these sites touch a person in need was is able to provide, even just a glimmer of hope, reassurance and comfort to a person in need, then I am indeed a happy man.


Hope is believing in something unseen. Hope is such a key aspect in the recovery process. Latching on to what is good and real and reaffirming the heroic, resilient human spirit in the face of seemingly insurmountable and oppressive adversity creates a heart-warming and life-affirming recognition of an ability to recover from seemingly hopeless situations.

Too often our hope is put in external forces: medication, therapies, programmes, interventions, relationships, or, and equally dangerous, internal forces: self-drive, determination, will, and resilience, changes of self-image, self-control, or lack thereof. But these never work solely and are not mutually exclusive.

The key to a proper recovery lies in finding a harmonious balance between of internal and external forces, accomplished by being firmly rooted in the awareness that others must help you just as much as you must help others. The awakening and growing awareness of this fact appears to be a natural constant across every genuine recovery story. This growing awareness needs to be done with kindness and gentleness to yourself and others, respecting the inherent dignity and worth of every human being and respecting the timeframe needed to change deeply rooted problems.

This site stands against false message which influence people to believe in so-called magic-bullet, quick-fix, flash-in-the-pan therapies. These unrealistic, and often self-fulfilling, messages are so often subconscious architects, insidiously building false and unrealistic exceptions; helping construct so many disappointing realities for many people who feel by and large disenchanted, lost, cheated and ignored.

Getting better takes time and it takes people of courage who will start to listen to a deep intuitive voice of reason and hope which lay in all of us. Testimonies help us attune to this voice which can so easily get bunched out in the cacophony of incessant media saturation.



People who are wounded have trouble trusting others. Trusting even themselves.They’ve been hurt, often by the ones they love and rely on the most, the caregivers or someone who was supposed to look after them and nurture them toward the path of love and trust.

Something went wrong.

Determined to not allow this happened again an elaborate game of self-defence begins to fortify the most sacred part of them: their precious heart. The terrorists of doubt, fear, pain and evil strengthen their hold on the persons mind and body making the person believe that they are not lovable, not loved and cared for.

They stop functioning. And live in a shell, afraid to show themselves, to give themselves to others and to receive other people fully. People, in their scarred eyes become pawns,forces of deceitfulness, lies, corruption and malice.

Terrible state to be in isn’t it.

People who are in pain are lonely, forging trust with others is scary, frightening, terrifying. Intimacy is a scary place. They exodus out of this state toward a land of freedom, dignity and community is led by broken-hearted idealists, wounded healers who in their own scars cary with them the ability to heal and lead others into growth and trusting relationships.

Real trust takes time. Effort, work commitment. But to start with you need to believe you can and will get better.

The passage is a dance toward freedom. Led by pied pipers of experience the testimony givers, the life givers.

© 2012 How I Beat RSI

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